


young and menace

by 1231pm



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Established Friendship, F/F, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicidal Thoughts, i mean... these are still the deh and bmc characters sO
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-17 00:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14822174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1231pm/pseuds/1231pm
Summary: When people say high school is like a prison, it's so easy to think of it as an exaggeration. In actuality, it's more like a junkyard. No one is anything yet. The only two possible futures are to be left to rot in a pile of garbage or to be placed on a conveyor belt before being lead to a crusher.But then there are always those who can avoid both fates, who can avoid being left to attract decomposers or avoid being squashed by those in power. Those, who can against all odds, somehow make it out and find worth else where.Those people are myths.—Or, the crossover no one asked for where everyone's issues have issues, an anonymously student-run gossip article exposes everyone daily, and June is 285 days away.





	young and menace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chapter warnings for: suicidal thoughts, minor character suicide, anxiety, ableism/homophobia (r & q slurs, not from any of the mains), & general cursing.
> 
> —
> 
> Where the whole school loses their minds, school council elections are brutal, a letter gets sort of written, the gang plays card games, and our favourite Anxious Boy™ hears something he shouldn't have.
> 
> Just your regular first day at Middleborough High.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, so me & fandom consistency? no such thing? anyways, i was encouraged into posting this,, it's based very loosely off of youth and consequences. there are some background original characters, but there are also mentioned references to actual musical characters, but they won't have a major role!! be more chill characters will be more incorporated in as the story continues but! for now, it's going to be mainly deh narration, so sorry if that bothers anyone?? but yeah, here's this thing, and i hope you guys enjoy it!!

Evan wakes up an hour before his alarm, before there’s light out.

 

He checks his backpack five times in the span of twenty minutes, making sure he has enough pencils, and - oh, can’t forget about his highlighters. He has all of his textbooks and syllabi printed out, and he has his schedule as his phone’s lock screen and the cover of his binder. He has thirty minutes left to himself, ten spent staring at the wall, five spent picking at his cast, fifteen minutes to put his clothes on before finally, he reaches for his laptop. He has a document open and squints at the blankness.

 

Mumbling as he types, “Dear Evan Hansen…” he sighs almost immediately, running an annoyed hand through his hair as he sorta just wants to close the document and forget about it. Frustratedly, he continues, “Today’s gonna be an _amazing_ day, and here’s why.” Not even two seconds later, he’s backspacing the line and putting his head in his hands, mocking himself for a solid four minutes, mumbling something he doesn’t even understand, something about being true to himself. He curls his hands into fists and tries to think of a better starter.

 

Before he can do anything about it though, he startles at his mom’s voice, slamming his laptop closed.

 

“So you decided not to eat last night,” she greets as if she’s not upset, but Evan can see the disappointment in her eyes as she holds up the money left on the counter.

 

“I wasn’t hungry…” Evan says too quickly, and his mom’s features soften.

 

They go into the same routine, of his mom trying to encourage him to order food for himself while he tries to not meanly shoot her down.

 

He sorta zones out for a while in the conversation but comes back to when she asks if he’s writing letters for himself, and when he answers too quickly, again, he knows she’s only worried about him. Somehow that only makes him feel worse though, so he stifles the feeling by picking at his cast some more.

 

He thinks she says something about putting himself out there but only focuses when she tells him to have his friends sign his cast. He cringles slightly at the thought but takes the sharpie she hands him anyways, trying not to be difficult, he really knows she’s only trying her best as he fiddles with the sharpie before shoving it in his bag.

 

“I, uh, I’m going to go now, I think.” Evan stands, putting his backpack on as his mom smiles and hugs him, kissing his cheek gently.

  
“Okay,” she squeezes his left hand, “I love you. I’m so, so proud of you.”

 

Evan doesn’t know what to do in the face of her genuine sincerity, and instead he just bows his head a bit, “I love you too.”

 

“I gotta head out now, but make sure to eat something, okay?”

 

He just nods as she pats his shoulder before walking downstairs.

 

Part of Evan does want to miss the first day, _you don’t actually do anything during the first day, anyways!_ , but instead, he just slips his shoes on and heads down.

 

His mom is gone by the time he’s downstairs, and when he checks his phone, he has a couple of minutes left to go before it’s time for him to leave, so he can catch his bus. He smiles slightly at the apple his mom left on the table next to a water with a note wishing him to ‘have a good first day!’ before he stuffs the water in his bag with the note and bites into the apple, locking up as he heads out.

 

Taking the bus as a senior didn’t feel any different than the past years, the only main difference being that it just got stuffier. His house was one of the first stops to the school, so not many people were sitting there just yet, but he sticks to the front of the bus rather than the back, knowing that as passengers board, it’ll only get more claustrophobic for him and then he’d definitely sweat and then what would be the point of taking the bus?

 

He puts his earplugs on as he steps inside the bus, taking the first seat on the right of the bus, hugging his bag close to him.

 

The drive to school takes a while because there are so many stops along the way, but he never really minds it. It gives him to process how the day’s gonna go, prepare for what’s to follow. He startles when he feels his phone vibrate and takes it out to see Jared texting him.

 

**From: Jared**

_you’ll never guess what lmao_

 

**To: Jared**

_what are you talking about?_

 

**From: Jared**

_where are you lol_

 

**To: Jared**

_on the bus, why?_

 

**From: Jared**

_you’ll see_

 

Jared doesn’t text anymore, and Evan sighs, pocketing his phone before looking out the window, suddenly feeling a prickly feeling crawl on his skin. He tries to reassure the voice in his head that it’s probably not a big deal, but he still feels something in him want to just turn back home and go back to sleep. The bus stops right in front of the school while Evan’s lost in his thoughts before he’s jolted into focus by the abrupt brake.

 

The doors screech open, and he carefully walks out with a quick ‘thank you’ to the driver.

 

The school, itself, is a mess. Teachers aren’t allowing anyone inside, and there are students everywhere, huddled over cellphones and whispering.

 

A boy behind him in a blue cardigan bumps into him, immediately squeaking a _sorry!_ before running off, while two kids are already getting into a fist fight that a teacher tries to break to no real avail.

 

“Hi Evan! How was your summer?”

 

Evan looks over from where he’s observing everyone to see Alana Beck, smiling at him. Her enthusiasm is a little much for this early in the morning, but he manages a smile regardless as he goes to speak before she cuts him off to explain about hers.

 

He doesn’t exactly mind, lets her talk happily about her summer before he startles when she points out his arm, going into a story about how her grandmother died.

 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” is what he says quietly to which she gives him a watery smile and a tiny _thank you_ in reply.

 

The both of them are silent for a while, just walking. Right as Alana turns to leave, explains she has to talk to a teacher, Evan blurts out, “W-Would you like to, um, sign my cast?”

 

She startles before she smiles softly, nodding. Evan hurriedly picks out the sharpie from his bag’s pocket to hand it to her, nearly dropping it twice; Alana takes the marker gracefully before writing her name in neat curled script, a tad small near his inner wrist, handing the sharpie back to him.

 

“Well, I hope your day goes well, Evan!” Alana waves to him as she walks towards the ever-growing crowds of people.

 

“Um, see you at lunch!” Evan waves back as he walks in a different direction, over to where Jared is standing, leaning against a concrete planter.

 

Jared smirks, clapping a hand on his shoulder when he finally walks over, “You might be the first person in history to break his arm from jerking it off too hard!”

 

Evan flinches, “That’s not what happened…”

 

Jared is about to keep going, so instead, Evan continues, “I fell out of a tree.”

 

Blinking in unconcealed shock at the interruption but barking out a laugh, Jared raises his eyebrows, “What are you? An acorn?”

 

Wincing, Evan stays quiet and fidgets with his cast for a few moments before Jared pauses, takes an actual look at him. Something about his features must be especially pitiful because Jared sighs, “Sorry.” Concern flickers on his face, tilting his head, “You okay?”

 

Evan just nods, closing his eyes for a few seconds before opening them to gesture to the chaos around them. “What’s going on?”

 

Jared seems to latch onto the subject change, a more comfortable look on his face once more as he explains, “Nobody knows apparently. They won’t let us into the school. There’s even an _EMT_.”

 

Evan turns to look at the vehicle before sighing, “No update?”

 

“No update,” Jared confirms. “And it’s making the people go insane.”

 

Just as Jared says, the students are actively restless. Evan can spot several people in radius already theorizing what’s going on, waving their phones in the air. No doubt, they’re refreshing the infamous, _In the Middle_.

 

 _In the Middle_ \- an entity that everyone fears but can’t turn away from. The school’s very own constant car crash. Nobody truly knows who started it. One day, it just appeared and stuck. Legend has it, it was started a decade ago by some kid who thought they were the next coming of TMZ and Perez Hilton, and it gets passed along to a random anonymous student each year.

 

It’s a long name, sure, but drama needs a messenger regardless of what it’s called, so the school clings to the news outlet like bees to honey. Many just stick to calling it, and the anonymous author, _Middle_ anyways.

 

Evan jolts when he feels a hand touch his elbow gently, looking up to see Connor and Zoe.

 

“Hey Connor! Nice hair length, it’s very, uh, school shooter chic,” Jared nudges Connor as Connor rolls his eyes, already gearing up for a comeback.

 

“Still no word of what’s going on?” Zoe interjects before either of them can start something this early in the morning, looking over with a tilt of her head.

 

“Nope!” Jared cheers.

 

Evan sighs, “The last update was about Ram and Kurt’s dads’ honeymoon, wasn’t it?”

 

Jared waves a hand dismissively, “Nah, it was about Duke’s new boobjob.”

 

All three of them raise an eyebrow, now, at Jared who only lifts his hands in defense, “So I keep up to date, sue me.”

 

Zoe rolls her eyes before adjusting her bag, “I’m gonna go talk to Christine. Bye.”

 

Evan waves to her as she leaves, Connor and Jared talking about… something.

 

He zones back into the conversation just as Connor asks,

 

“Hey, what happened to your arm?”

 

Evan jolts slightly, has to blink back memories and answers with the same answer he gave Jared, “I fell out of a tree.”

 

Connor raises his eyebrows before sighing, “That’s gotta be the saddest thing I’ve ever fucking heard.”

 

Jared makes a sound of agreement before pointing out random students and making up the conversation they’re having. It’s a game that they played since they were kids, a way of passing time.

 

He lets Connor and Jared go back and forth on whether or not the guy in a black muscle tee is a really tall freshman or a kid that repeated high school ten times for a while before gesturing to the teachers.

 

“Ms. Fleming’s crying…” Evan trails off as the two turn to look.

 

“Geez, it’s like someone _died_ or something,” Jared sighs in exasperation while Connor taps on his phone.

 

People around them turn at Jared’s statement in horror as Evan runs a hand through his hair. This was already a long morning.

 

“Should’ve just stayed home,” Connor says, almost like he heard Evan’s thought.

 

Then, of all a sudden, there’s a loud collective buzz ring through the air, multiple ring tones clashing as Evan flinches at the loud noises. Gasps and whispers fill the air, and Evan pulls up the article.

 

**“MR. MARKEL FOUND DEAD IN HIS OFFICE.”**

 

He stares at his phone before all of them look over at each other. As if on cue, the first responders finally wheel out a limp body through the front doors of the school.

 

Fuck.

 

Slowly, but surely, Jared blinks. Finally,

 

“It’s like I have ESPN or something.”

 

Connor groans as Evan facepalms.

 

Long morning? More like long day.

 

* * *

 

When the teachers finally let students back in the school, it’s already 9am, and they _still_ have to go to homeroom. Apparently, school would still end on time and lunch remained the same, they would just shorten the class periods. Something about… “needing community more than ever”.

 

After doing the most dysfunctional homeroom first day attendance possible, the classroom full of random _“juniors and seniors from last names H-N”_ ignore all other announcements, choosing to either gossip, sleep or (for the occasional student) stare at the ceiling while Ms. Park tries her best to keep the voice level down.

 

With every passing second, Evan feels pretty bad for her.

 

At the very least though, they got to pick seats, so Evan is currently sat next to Jared and across from Zoe and Connor, playing a riveting game of tic tac toe with him while they wait for the next bell to ring.

 

Jared nudges Evan, causing him to look up as he pokes the cast, “Give me a sharpie.”

 

Evan obediently does, giving him the permanent marker while Jared uncaps it dramatically and scrawls his name wide on the inner part of the cast before capping it, handing it to Zoe who leans over the table and carefully writes her name with three little stars in the corner. She leans back, satisfied and gives the sharpie to Connor who reaches over, grabbing Evan’s arm to tug it closer to him.

 

Evan lets out a tiny squeak of pain that Connor answers with a small _sorry_ before writing his name in giant lettering across the cast, slipping the sharpie into his hand as Evan blinks at the sight of the newly added names.

 

If you had told Evan two years ago that he’d have friends who would sign his cast, he’d never believe you.

 

After a couple of minutes of silence among the four of them, Jared snorts causing all of them to look over at him. Instead of answering the unspoken question, he just looks up to Ms. Park who promptly clears her throat and quiets the students down.

 

“I’m sure you are all aware of Mr. Markel’s, um… unfortunate passing. For those that need it, there will be a tragedy workshop in the counseling center, so please feel free to attend.”

 

After a brief moment of silence that dissolves into whispers again, Evan turns to Jared who shrugs. He takes his silence for a sign he doesn’t want to talk and shares a confused glance with Zoe who just shrugs and turns to the sheet music she’s been studying for marching band.

 

Evan, instead, goes back to trying to figure out the best placement to result in an actual tic tac toe game instead of the varying cat’s eye games that litter the border of the page. Finally, he settles on placing his X in the bottom right before sliding it back to Connor who squints at the board. Both of them pause when they hear what Jared says.

 

“We should go.”

 

Connor makes a face that Evan can only describe as a confused that doesn’t want to understand as he questions, “Why?”

 

“It sucks what happened to Mr. Markel is all,” Jared points out while Evan nods in agreement.

 

The bell rings after a minute or two as Zoe shrugs, “I’ve gotta go to band. Tell me how it goes during lunch.”

 

Evan echoes a goodbye as he follows Jared and Connor. The three of them walk towards the office subconsciously, Evan barely realises that they’re even going to the office until he sees the familiar door. Patting both of their backs, Jared pushes the two into the room before walking off with an, _“I gotta talk to my dad!”_ , as Evan sighs but goes inside anyways.

 

There’s not many students in the workshop, but he didn’t really expect there to be.

 

Connor finds a seat on the right side of the room, and Evan sits next to him, picking at where his skin meets the plaster of his cast. He hears a tiny _‘stop’_ before Connor’s hand covers his.

 

Before he can really react, the vice principal walks in, a tight, grim expression on his face. Evan looks over at Connor who leans back slightly.

 

(So much for Jared talking to his dad…)

 

Mr. Kleinman gives a tiny look of acknowledgement to Evan before speaking clearly and formally, “We understand that many of you are confused as to what’s going on.”

 

Connor makes a soft snort that Mr. Kleinman does a nice job of acting like he didn’t hear while the other students in the room simply stay quiet.

 

“It’s not often a school has to face a tragedy like this. Obviously, nothing could have ever prepared us for… well. Something like this.”

 

Evan fidgets with his cast. A part of Evan just wants Mr. Kleinman to say the damn word instead of speaking in circles, but another part of him bites his tongue.

 

“Mr. Markel was a wonderful guidance counselor. Dedicated and wise, we will all greatly miss him.”

 

The room is quiet enough that a pin could drop, everyone so highly uncomfortable that when someone coughs, the room echoes.

 

“-- If you need someone to talk to, please. Feel free to talk to one of the staff. We are all here to help you.”

 

Then, the first buzz starts.

 

Then, it’s like a tidal wave, again - the room full of buzzing and ringtones, a symphony of iPhones and Androids ringing in varying volumes. Mr. Kleinman looks around worriedly, and it doesn’t take a genius to know that he probably hopes it’s not…

 

“Holy shit…”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“... Oh my god.”

 

Evan shares a look with Connor who already has his phone out, _In the Middle_ in all of its glory with the headline…

 

Oh.

 

**“MR. MARKEL: JUST HANGING OUT?”**

 

Evan flinches as Connor scrolls a bit to the subhead. Suddenly, Evan feels a chill run down his back, kinda wants to throw up if he’s honest.

 

_“Middleborough Guidance Counselor allegedly hung himself last night in his office. BDSM gone wrong? Suicide? Or is there some foul play at hand?”_

 

Mr. Kleinman still looks confused, and Evan sighs before tilting the phone over to his best friend’s dad as he watches the confusion turn into disgust.

 

“You may all go back to your classes,” Mr. Kleinman says, clipped. To a normal ear, he sounds strictly professional, but a childhood of knowing Jared has allowed Evan the wonderful insight of hearing the angered undercurrent. Before any student can protest, Mr. Kleinman walks out, no doubt going to talk to the rest of the staff to try to run some PR spin on this before it gets out of control.

 

As if it weren't out of control the second Mr. Markel tied that noose.

 

The room is back to silence as Evan lets out a tiny uncomfortable laugh, “H-He really hates Middle, doesn’t he?”

 

“All the teachers do,” Connor agrees as both of them stand to walk out.

 

They’re not even five steps out the door before Jared is by their side with a shit-eating grin.

 

“Did ya see how pissed my dad was?” Jared snickers as Connor rolls his eyes.

 

“They’re, uh, they’re gonna have a hard time explaining this,” Evan mumbles before looking around at the poster-covered walls of the hallway.

 

Ah, yes, election season. Where student council hopefuls plaster their faces on the walls and the lockers and wish for the best.

 

There’s only one person running for Class President - Alana - as always. She’s won the past three years, and no one wants to be the one who dares to even try to take that from her. And for good reason, too, Alana is just a great class president. She listens and delivers.

 

But for the other positions?

 

It’s a war.

 

A war where both sides fight with passive aggressive speeches, black and white headshots and colorful tiny buttons.

 

Last year’s graduating class had it brutal.

 

A bunch of fights had ended up starting - everyone had wanted to be class president, nearly five people ended up going to the hospital. Apparently, the guy that everyone was gonna vote for - Alex - ended up cheating on his girlfriend with someone and even spread pamphlets trying to explain the affair.

 

In _vivid_ detail.

 

Anyways, Middle was being updated like by the minute with how chaotic it all was. The whole ordeal only ended when Alex ended up getting knifed, got sent to the hospital and never came back. The only justice that ended up being sought was that Eliza, Alex’s girlfriend, wound up becoming president instead.

 

But yeah. That was messy.

 

Evan really hopes they don’t get a repeat of last year.

 

He blinks when he feels Connor and Jared looking at him, and winces slightly as they both sigh.

 

“You back?” Connor raises an eyebrow, and Evan nods, opening his mouth to apologise before Jared immediately interrupts him.

 

“If you say sorry, I swear I will stab myself in the eye,” Jared deadpans.

 

Evan bites his lip and looks down. The three of them are silent for a good minute before Connor exhales.

 

“Okay, just say it.”

 

“... Sorry,” Evan mumbles sheepishly as Jared rolls his eyes before nudging him.

 

“As I was _saying_ ,” Jared repeats, “not even a cadaver-on-campus can stop a school election.”

 

“Why would it?” Connor snorts. “Just watch, they’re gonna use this to their advantage. Nothing like performative concern during a tragedy to make yourself seem like a _saint_.”

 

Evan frowns but admits, “Y-Yeah, probably… Anyway, um, I saw Nick talking to Mark this morning.”

 

“Makes sense,” Jared nods, “If Nick’s able to get Mark’s vote, Nick will have the vote over all other tech nerds on campus.”

 

They walk for a while, just stopping by in front of Evan’s locker. Jared leans against the one next to his as he continues.

 

“Anyways, I heard Nick’s already got the GSA, Cheer squad, Basketball team, and the Journalism club,” Jared checks his phone, nonchalant. Evan hears something off in Jared’s voice but knows better than to pick at it.

 

“What does Nick Wesley have to offer the Basketball team? New balls?” Connor mocks.

 

“Connor!” Evan squeaks as he finally manages to get his locker open after two failed attempts.

 

“I said what I said,” Connor smirks with a shrug.

 

“Maybe - who knows?” There it is, the same nonchalant tone, and Evan takes a second to look at Jared who isn’t looking up. “I think we should vote for him though.”

 

There’s a moment of silence before Evan puts the books he doesn’t need in his locker and closes it shut. He shares a confused look with Connor, hesitantly, Evan asks, “You… think we should vote for him?”

 

Jared makes a tiny sound of affirmation before he’s looking up and pocketing his phone, “I mean… would you rather vote for this generation’s _Sandra Dee_?”

 

Evan frowns, tilting his head, “Katie’s not that bad…”

 

Almost as if on cue, they walk past Katie Lancaster loudly cheering up a crying girl.

 

“Don’t worry, everything will be okay! It’ll get better, I promise; Mr. Markel is in a better place now. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am always here for you like a _true_ vice president should be.”

 

Connor raises an eyebrow as Evan amends, “Okay… so she’s not ideal.”

 

“Neither of them are,” Connor quips while Jared shrugs.

 

“All I’m saying is that Nick has some good points. He seems like he genuinely wants to listen to what people have to say.”

 

Connor seems like he’s about to say something more, but Evan just interjects, in a feeble attempt to change the subject, “Maybe. The vote’s at the end of the week, so we have time to decide. Either way, it’s almost time for next period…”

 

Jared groans, “Ugh, I gotta go to the left wing for Metal Shop.”

 

“I have English,” Connor yawns, pointing right.

 

“Okay, um, see you guys at lunch?” Evan takes a step forward, having Math right down the hall.

 

“Yep, see ya,” Jared finger-guns before walking off as Connor just waves before walking in the opposite direction.

 

Evan sighs, trudging forward.

 

And then there was one.

 

Great.

 

* * *

 

Math passes by quickly; and Evan’s suddenly grateful that he was diligent enough to bring his own syllabus seeing as Mr. Larson changed the date of some exams. The class isn’t exactly memorable, but he figures that’s better than the alternative. His next class is technically not a class - it’s a free period, but he chose to be a staff secretary this semester, so he heads back down to the office. Waving at Zoe when she passes by, he flinches when he sees some football guy shove a kid into a locker.

 

It’s one of the few times Evan is happy he’s sort of invisible.

 

He enters the office and nods politely at the front desk lady who smiles kindly at him and hands him a sign in board to mark his attendance.

 

“I, uh, I don’t - who am I assigned to today?” Evan asks, feeling the tips of his ears burn in embarrassment.

 

“Ms. Frances. She’s currently with Mr. Kleinman, but you can wait for them to finish on the chairs in front of her office.” She answers dutifully before pointing to where her office is.

 

He nods and thanks her before walking over to Ms. Frances’s office, sitting down in the brown leather chair and hugs his backpack. Ms. Frances was the other vice principal, and the far stricter one at that. A stickler for rules, she rarely left her office other than to do routine checks inside the classrooms. Evan taps his fingers antsy on his knee, feeling the familiar unsettled chill settling in his bones as he starts to fidget. He kinda doesn’t want to pull out his earplugs in front of the office, so he figures all he can really do is just wait.

 

Then… he hears talking.

 

“I have been dealing with this… In the Middle nonsense for fifteen years… How are we supposed to govern and do our jobs when we’re constantly under a microscope?” is what Evan hears through the door, recognises the voice instantly as Ms. Frances’s.

 

Then, a calmer voice repeats, “Govern?” He hears a snort -- Mr. Kleinman, even without knowing it’s him, Evan would recognise that sound anywhere having heard a younger version of it every day.

 

Ms. Frances lets out an agitated sound before Mr. Kleinman points out, “All we need to do is keep the kid under control. They’re undermining what we’re doing here. But as long as we show a united front, we can sort this out.”

 

Evan cringes, but he can understand the sentiment, really.

 

“Last year, I spent nearly three thousand dollars in PTA money trying to track their IP address. The trail led through Brazil, Indonesia, Denmark and Monaco and nearly a dozen others. You know where it finally led to?” Ms. Frances rants, and when Evan peeks through glass, looking past the blinders, he can see her face red. He quickly turns back around, hands curling and uncurling. Three thousand dollars… Seriously?

 

Mr. Kleinman lets out a tiny uncommitted noise that Ms. Frances must take as a reason to continue, “My _laptop_.”

 

Evan winces.

 

Mr. Kleinman sighs, “Well, what do you suggest Sharon? What is your plan to stop them?”

 

“As senior vice principal, I am telling you,” Ms. Frances says coolly, “we need to take this kid out.”

 

The word choice causes Evan to turn slightly, uncertainly. Before he can react, he hears Mr. Kleinman muse.

 

“If you have a plan, I’m all ears.”

 

“Great,” Ms. Frances declares, “we’ll meet tomorrow.”

 

Evan sees Mr. Kleinman nod and get up to stand. Almost immediately, Evan whips back around, trying to focus on something else to act as if he hasn’t just been listening to a really shady conversation for the better part of ten minutes. He picks at the edge of his cast and only looks up when he hears the door officially open, Mr. Kleinman standing in the doorway. He gives a tiny wave that gets returned with a friendly grin that Evan takes to mean that he’s not suspect.

 

Okay, great.

 

Evan takes a deep breath as he stands and knocks gently on Ms. Frances’s door.

 

“H-Hi Ms. Frances, I’m your staff secretary today,” He greets quietly, lightly fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

 

“What’s your name?” She asks, glancing critically at him.

 

“I’m, um, Evan Hansen, ma’am.”

 

Ms. Frances seems to relax a bit before nodding, “Okay, well. Evan, I need you to file some things for me. I need to sort out Mr. Markel’s office.”

 

Evan nods as Ms. Frances hands him the box of papers and folders. It’s filled to the brim. Ms. Frances promptly leaves as Evan sits carefully down on one of the chairs and places the box on a spare table.

 

This was going to take a while.

 

* * *

 

It takes nearly the entire class period to sort out the box, Ms. Frances having not come back since then.

 

It’s kind of calming though, sorting through the papers in silence. He hardly realises time has passed until he hears the familiar intro of the school’s broadcast.

 

Jared and Sabrina Patel appear on the screen and go into the list of announcements. A club fair in three weeks, club applications still open, more counseling office hours open, the food choices for the week…

 

Evan kind of tunes out the rest as he leaves the box in Ms. Frances’s office, stepping out to sign out. He signs out at five minutes before the bell rings while the broadcast still loudly plays wherever there is a television.

 

He figures he might as well head over to the computer lab, so he can quickly print out his therapy letter. He stops by the library, slipping inside the media center to quickly type something up. He boots one of the desktops up and settles down, staring at a blank Word Document once more before typing slowly.

 

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

 

_It’s gonna be a great day… Sorta. Maybe? It could be. The world hasn’t ended. So that’s good, right?_

 

He startles when he hears his phone ring. He answers it when he realises it’s his mom, and leans back into the chair slightly.

 

“Hi mom,” he greets as he can hear her sigh into the phone, picking up static. His brows knit together in confusion and concern, “are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, sweetie, just a rough day. I have to pick up someone’s night shift, Linda cancelled… I’m sorry, Evan…” His mom sounds so genuinely bummed out about it, that Evan just feels a heavy guilt settle in. He just feels exhausted for her. It’s the fifth time in the past two weeks that she’s had to pick up additional shifts.

 

The voice in his head that Evan would really rather ignore mocks him, _yeah, well you certainly don’t make it easier while she is home, huh?_

 

“There’s money on the counter when you get home if you want to get pizza, but there are also some egg rolls in the freezer, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“... So have you started on your letter?” He can hear the hopefulness leak through her voice, and he sighs a bit.

 

“I… Y-- Yeah, I’m just finishing it right now.”

 

“That’s great, Evan! I’m so proud of you.”

 

Evan kind of wants to scream, kind of wants to tear his hair out, because _why are you proud of me, I didn’t do anything?_

 

Instead, he just mumbles, “thanks, mom. I, uh, gotta go now.”

 

“Okay, Evan, I love you. Have a good rest of your day.”

 

“Love you too, bye mom,” Evan ends the call before running a hand through his hair.

 

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

 

_It’s gonna be a great day… Sorta. Maybe? It could be. The world hasn’t ended. So that’s good, right? It’s been okay. All things considered. I mean, Mr. Markel is… dead. He hung himself. The guidance counselor hung himself. Committed suicide. Isn’t that? Isn’t that a little…_

 

No. Backspace.

 

_Everyone’s kinda on edge. Which isn’t a shock. It just kind of feels… fake?_

 

You can’t write that, Evan.

 

_How long has he been dead? Did he go to dinner with his family and then just… wait until his family was asleep and then go to the school and hang himself? Why? Why would Mr. Markel of all people want to kill himself? How many times has a person went into his office and told him they wanted to die? How many times has he told someone their life is worth living? And then now he just… He kills himself?_

 

Evan, stop.

 

_Is anyone going to even really care? Is anyone going to even care about Mr. Markel? Like, they care, now. Because it just happened. But are they going to care… a week from now? Two weeks? A month? By the end of the semester? Or is he just going to fade away?_

 

_Because let’s face it. Nobody’s going to care. Maybe after a few days, nothing’s going to change. Nothing would be different at all. I wish everything was different._

 

_None of this matters._

 

Pull it together, Evan.

 

_I don’t matter. Face it, would anybody notice if I just missed tomorrow? If I just… disappeared? It'd be better for everyone anyways. Why can't you just start over life? Fix all the mistakes? Why can't I just start over? I want to be somebody new, but I look in the mirror and, big surprise, it's still the same old me._

 

_There are way too many questions in life, and not nearly enough answers. Why do I try? What do I feel? What do I do?_

 

_Mr. Markel is dead. He did what you couldn't do. What we couldn't do. Maybe he understood. Maybe he knew that nothing changes. It doesn't magically get better. There's no fairy godmother to wave a magic wand and boom - life is fixed. You don't get better, you just get older. Your feelings get hurt enough times that you'd rather not feel anymore._

 

_Sincerely,_

_Your most best, and deare-_

 

Evan freezes, barely realising his hands are shaking until he can’t spell right, can’t even breathe for a couple of moments. It takes another minute to realise he’s crying and he quickly scrubs at his eyes. He takes a choked breath but tries again to get air to his lungs.

 

He can’t give this letter. He can’t.

 

He shouldn’t have even written it.

 

Evan still can’t do much but tremble and try to calm down. All he can really do is wait this all out until he’s done, and he rocks a bit in his chair. His eyes sting, and his limbs hurt.

 

“Evan?” He hears a voice quietly call out, and he turns immediately to see Connor standing there, leaning against the door, concern on his face.

 

“I-I’m fine,” Evan manages out, trying to hide a sob, _why is he crying? Why is he acting like this? Why can’t he stop crying?_

 

“No, you’re not,” Connor says, patiently, and he walks over to him.

 

Evan’s too focused on trying to breathe, only realising that the document is still open when Connor is a couple of steps away.

 

Immediately, he stands.

 

“I, I’m not,” Evan agrees.

 

Connor just waits for Evan to continue, and it makes Evan’s chest hurt a little more because Connor wouldn’t call him a freak for all of this. Connor would understand, right?

 

And then a part of Evan wants to tell Connor about everything, but the stronger half, the one still scared, the one still a coward, closes the document as Connor watches.

 

“I… I don’t know. I-I’m just… Not good.” Evan exhales, the tremor slowly calming down.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Connor finally says.

 

Evan shakes his head but pauses, “Maybe. I… Not now.”

 

Connor nods before slowly and carefully reaching for him. Gives Evan enough time to move away if he doesn’t want to be touched right now.

 

Evan latches onto him almost immediately, sagging a bit in his arms slightly. He mimics Connor’s breathing until finally… he’s alright. He’s fine. He’s got this.

 

He gently pulls away a bit, only to softly joke, “we should go before Middle posts about when our wedding’s gonna be.”

 

Connor chuckles, “Easy. It’s gonna be a June wedding.” He lets Evan go, only to lightly knock his shoulder with his, a silent check in to see if he’s really okay.

 

Evan smiles and retaliates with a soft nudge of his own, “I want a vanilla cake.”

 

“Chocolate.”

 

“Vanilla.”

 

“Cookies and cream.”

 

“... Fine.”

 

* * *

 

Jared and Zoe are already sitting down when Evan and Connor get there. No doubt Alana is out talking to some people to hear what their stances are for the election. Evan sits down next to Jared, and Connor sits in the seat next to him.

 

Jared teases almost immediately, “At school, you two? On the first day? No shame.”

 

Evan sighs, “Seriously?”

 

“Seriously! There is nothing more serious about the love you two share!”

 

“We’re not dating, Jared.”

 

“Not yet, you’re not.”

 

That gets a laugh out of Zoe who takes out a box of playing cards.

 

“What are we playing today?” She asks, shuffling with ease.

 

At the same time, Jared and Connor both answer.

 

“Bullshit.”

 

“Slap.”

 

Looking over at each other and scowling.

 

“Bullshit is a classic; you just want to smack us!”

 

“Bullshit is boring, and it’s only interesting when we have more than one deck involved.”

 

Both of them turn to Zoe who shrugs.

 

“I wanna play Blackjack.”

 

Connor shakes his head, “no way. You have too much power in that game.”

 

Then, they all turn to Evan.

 

In fairness, Evan didn’t mean to zone out. But he can hear Katie and Nick promote themselves around the neighboring tables, and it’s kinda distracting.

 

“Hi, my fellow ladies! How are you guys doing?”

 

“Thank you so much. We need you in this campaign. I need you. A vote for Nick is a vote for you. So don’t be afraid to vote for me. Okay?”

 

“Good? Good! That’s wonderful! I’m running for student vice president, and I just wanted to tell you guys to vote for me! I have buttons _and_ bookmarks!”

 

“Together, we can be the change this school needs.”

 

“This button would look great with your, uh, adorable jacket! Denim on denim is such a look!”

 

“I’ll listen to all of your concerns. Here, take two bottles of water.“

 

“Ladies, let your voices be heard! Wouldn’t that be great?”

 

“Evan,” Jared pokes him out of it, and Evan startles.

 

“Sorry…” Evan apologises, just as Alana makes her way to the table, sitting down.

 

“Hi guys!” Alana smiles kindly while Zoe deals the cards.

 

Before this year, none of them got to sit together at lunch. Last year, Alana and Zoe had lunch after third period while Connor, Jared and Evan got lunch after fourth period. The years before, however…

 

All the way up until sophomore year, Jared would sit with all sorts of people; Alana would eat in the library. Zoe would eat with her friends while Connor ditched during lunches to sit in the photography room. Evan, on the other hand, had floated from eating lunch in the bathrooms to the computer lab.

 

Either way, all of them had decided before school started that this was the year they’d be able to all sit together, and here they were. This weird group of friends.

 

It started in spring of sophomore year, and it oddly started with Evan and Alana. After being found out in the computer lab, the librarian took pity on Evan and let him eat in the back of the library, where Alana sat.

 

At first the two didn’t really talk, just silently kept to themselves. But Alana had talked to him, and slowly the two became one of Alana’s famous acquaintanceships. After a month or so though, the two became closer and talked about things they didn’t really share with anyone else.

 

That was how they went from acquaintances to friends.

 

Then, Alana introduced Evan to Zoe. Zoe had been sweet and polite, and Evan had quickly developed a really embarrassing crush on her. After finally working up the courage to tell her, she had gently let him down, explaining that she just didn’t like him that way, and Evan had gotten over it. They became pretty good friends though, after that, the three of them.

 

Bonding over shared secrets, it was pretty good.

 

At the same time, Evan and Jared had grown distant. Jared only talking to Evan when he felt obligated to remind him to tell his mom about him, so that his mom would pay him his beloved car insurance.

 

Zoe and Alana both protested when Evan told them and told him he deserved better than that.

 

Later, Evan became used to not talking to Jared and paid more attention to hanging out with Zoe and Alana, who genuinely seemed to enjoy his company. During that time, Evan had also became partners with Connor during a class and, after Connor let go of his initial distrust, had started talking more often.

 

It didn’t take long for things to snap between Jared and Evan, though. Not with Jared making a snide comment about how _wow, Evan, you even made friends with the school freak?_ causing Evan to step in and defend Connor.

 

Zoe and Alana hadn’t been able to stop them from fighting, only showing up just as they started yelling. Evan and Jared argued in the middle of the hallway at top volume, shouting insults at each other until both of them were red.

 

Because that’s the thing about childhood friends.

 

You know everything about each other like the backs of your hand. You know what to say to make the life flicker in their eyes. You know what to say to break them down and tear them out.

 

So Jared had shouted at Evan about _jeez, Evan, you’re so pathetic, what - can’t even take a joke?_ and _your constant st-st-stuttering is so annoying, what’s wrong with you?_ and _you’re only making friends now because everyone pities you, wait ‘til they see how lame you are!_

 

It wasn’t like Evan had taken all of that either. Evan had screamed about _god, Jared, you’re the biggest asshole I’ve ever met!_ and _wow, you don’t have a kind bone in your body, do you?_ and _you take everything out on other people because you can’t deal with yourself!_

 

All of which escalated to Jared pulling his trump card, getting right in Evan’s face, and seething, _aw, poor Evan, such a saint, well maybe your dad left you because he couldn’t deal with how fucked up you are! It won’t be long until everyone else leaves you because who wants to deal with a kid who cries at his own shadow?_

 

The entire hallway had gone silent as everyone stared at them. Evan still remembers the pained chill settled in, the anger that was so beyond just plain anger, the tears streaking his face as he ran.

 

Still remembers the small voice in his head telling him that Jared was right.

 

Evan skipped school for a solid five days and avoided everyone the second he came back. Apparently when he was gone, Alana and Zoe had all gotten their chance to talk to Jared before finally they staged an intervention to try to get Evan and Jared to even be in the same room together without trying to leave.

 

It had taken an additional several days for the two to finally talk it over. For Jared to apologise for treating Evan like his only use as a friend was for car insurance and for what he said about everyone leaving him. For Evan to apologise for distancing himself from Jared. Jared had explained how insecure he was, how he pushed Evan away to avoid being the one to get hurt, and that he never meant for this to happen. Evan had explained his own insecurities, in return, and admitted that he shouldn’t have stood by either while their friendship went to ruins.

 

It took awhile for them to really become friends again after that, but by the end of the school year, they were friends again. Slightly broken, slightly bruised. But friends, nonetheless.

 

Some time before the school year ended, Evan managed to convince Connor and Zoe to try to repair their bond on two separate occasions. It wasn’t easy. Their bond couldn’t be repaired overnight. Evan knows, sometimes, it’s still hard, even now. Evan knows that sometimes they will still fight; and things will be said. But they’re trying.

 

All of them are.

 

Over summer, they did their best to stay in contact. While it was hard for all of them to be able to meet up at the same time, they did what they could. Their many group chats helped. And soon, they got comfortable around each other.

 

Then, in junior year, their friendship continued to blossom to where it was now.

 

Evan couldn’t be more grateful, really, for them.

 

He really doesn’t want to think where he would be without them.

 

“Evan?”

 

Evan blinks away from his memories, the fog in his eyes clearing, as he looks to four concerned faces.

 

He sits up a bit, “S-Sorry… I, um…” A wave of nausea hits him from sitting up too fast, and Jared immediately reaches a hand to steady him.

 

Connor gently rests a hand on his shoulder, “What’s up?”

 

“The ceiling,” Evan manages out, blinking back spots of black from his vision before focusing on the table.

 

While he was stuck in his thoughts, they must have decided on Bullshit. Evan could do this. He could make it through the rest of the day. Just lunch, then fifth and sixth period, and then it could all be over.

 

“Lame,” Jared teases, but the relief on his face is easy for Evan to see.

 

“Just finished three, Evan,” Zoe smiles.

 

Evan carefully picks his stack of cards up, seeing three fours. It would be a waste to use them all up so quickly, so he plays it safe. “One four,” he confirms, placing the card face-side down.

 

Jared squints at him for a few seconds.

 

“Call it, if you want,” Evan baits him, smiling pleasantly.

 

“We’re not even a minute into the game,” Alana protests, peering over her glasses to raise an eyebrow at Jared.

 

“Well I can’t go back on my challenge now, can I? I call it. _Bullshit_.”

 

Evan rolls his eyes as Connor flips the card over.

 

Four diamond.

 

“Seriously?” Connor snickers as Jared dramatically sighs, taking the small pile with pretend effort.

 

“Please tell me you’re not gonna call bullshit every five seconds,” Zoe laughs, resting her chin on her hand.

 

“He hesitated! I saw it; he had like. This debating look in his eye or something. Anyways, calling bullshit makes the game _fun_ ,” Jared says, smirking as he gestures to Connor. “Your turn.”

 

Right before Connor’s about to put a card down, the table jolts as five bottles of water get placed down.

 

Alana makes a noise of protest before they all look up to see Nick Wesley standing there, a grin that Evan assumes should be charming.

 

“I know the line is kinda long, so I decided to head on over and hand you guys some.”

 

Connor leans back in his chair, deadpans, “I’m allergic.”

 

Nick’s features twist into something annoyed as Evan tries to hold in a tiny laugh. Nick just sighs and gives a polite, tight-lipped smile and nods once. He turns to leave, but looks back a bit, kinda in the way that Evan thinks he might have just imagined it. He might have, if it weren’t for the fact that he sees Jared turn his head a bit, too.

 

There’s a moment of silence that gets interrupted when Connor puts down two cards, “Two fives.”

 

“That was nice of him,” Jared shrugs, picking at his cards.

 

Alana places down a single card, “One six -- and I guess so, yeah…” She takes a bottle and uncaps it only for Connor to place a hand on her wrist to put it back down.

 

Zoe points out, “Kinda weird, really.” She blinks, raising an eyebrow as she turns to Connor. “Did… Did you just…?”

 

Evan blinks and looks over to see Zoe slam her cards down and engage in a staring contest with her brother who casually leans against him.

 

“You just bullshitted!” Zoe accuses as Connor shrugs.

 

“Mayhaps,” he fixes his cards and points out, “But Alana already went, so the bullshit stands.”

 

“I can’t believe this,” Zoe glares before gently taking the bottle from Alana’s grasp only to try to down it… and choke.

 

“Oh my god -” Alana squeaks, softly rubbing Zoe’s back.

 

“This is _not_ water,” Zoe protests, shoving the bottle away from her.

 

“It’s vodka,” Connor clarifies.

 

“If those bottles are all vodka… how did Nick manage to get this much?” Evan asks, confused, glancing behind him at the water bottle stand where Nick is talking to a group of goths.

 

“It's probably diluted with water. But still, he’d get it from Patrick Lee,” Jared answers before adding, “meaning Patrick’s definitely backing him.”

 

“I mean that does make sense…” Evan reasons.

 

Everyone kind of looks at him as Zoe plops a card into the pile, “One seven. What do you mean?”

 

“There are like twelve events during the school year, minimum. Meaning if Nick’s vice president with Patrick’s help, Patrick gets monopoly over all of them.” Alana realises.

 

“H-He’s probably backing both Nick and Katie…” Evan muses, “He’d win either way while they fight.”

 

Connor whistles, leaning back, “well, things are definitely getting interesting then.”

 

Jared doesn’t say anything for a while as Evan peeks over at him. He has a weird look on his face that he vaguely recognises. Before he can ask what’s wrong, though, Jared just gives him a dramatic wink and slams four cards down. “Four eights.”

 

“One half, reduce your damn fractions,” Zoe taps on the table, absentmindedly as Evan stares at Jared.

 

“Really?”

 

“Call it, if you want,” Jared mimics him, the glint in his eye daring.

 

“Okay,” Evan nods, not missing a beat, “Bullshit.”

 

Jared and him hold a look while Connor flips over the cards again.

 

Eight heart, eight spade…

 

And nine diamond and two heart.

 

“Why would you claim a four so early in the game?” Alana sighs, shaking her head as Jared collects all the cards.

 

“Kept you guys on your toes! Besides, when you guys try to bullshit later, you won’t be able to when I have all the cards.” Jared wags his eyebrows at her.

 

Evan just rolls his eyes and puts down two cards, “Two nines.”

 

For a second, he sees Connor glance at him, and Evan waits for him to call it.

 

Instead, Connor puts a card down, “One ten.”

 

Evan leans back as the others scan their cards.

 

“Patrick, Evan and I ran a bake sale in third grade,” Jared says casually as Alana places two cards down.

 

Evan organises his cards as he hears Jared continue,

 

“What I wanna know is if he’s partnering with both of them, what’d he offer Katie?”

 

“Simple,” Connor shrugs, “he’d offer her the stoners.”

 

“But how? She has nothing to bargain with, and he has no proof.”

 

“Well, remember when he tricked you into giving him the money by telling you that you were taking the money to my house and told me you were taking the money to yours, only for Patrick to take every single penny to his house and buy a bike with it?” Evan points out, adding, “All Patrick would have to do is tell her that he’s giving her the stoners and then be seen talking to them.”

 

‘If that is the plan… it’s admittedly kind of impressive,” Jared admits as Alana nods in agreement.

 

Zoe frowns as the bell rings, all of them begrudgingly handing the cards over. Packing up, they all head on together to the exit, knowing they’ll be splitting up to go to different classes soon.

 

“I got jazz band,” Zoe reminds Connor who shrugs.

 

“I’ll go with Evan, then.”

 

Zoe gives a nod before walking off to the left wing staircase.

 

“First yearbook class of the year,” Alana beams, excitement on her features.

 

“Hopefully it won’t be boring,” Jared quips as they step in the right wing corridor, taking a left to where the classroom is.

 

Hopefully.

 

* * *

 

Mr. Pearson is by far one of the nicest teachers on campus.

 

Evan used to be in the creative writing club in sophomore year when he was club advisor. The club didn’t end up getting picked up next year since the council had been seniors, and no one else bothered taking it. Mr. Pearson was always nice enough to let him stay there during lunch every now and then, though, when the computer lab was taken and the bathroom was being cleaned.

 

His room has a couch, a bunch of beanbags, and a fridge with snacks and water for kids who didn’t have lunch. He had desktop computers for students who needed bigger screens than the tiny school-mandated netbooks, and he gives them free reign during the class period to tackle whatever they want.

 

Mr. Pearson spends all of two minutes going over the syllabus before telling them to do whatever they want. It’s too early, really, to be deciding much yet for the yearbook, so Mr. Pearson lets everyone group together and sets them all “out into the wild”.

 

They all had different groups; each group was expected to have a writer, a photographer, an interviewer and an editor. In Evan’s case, he slid into the writer role with ease, while Connor took on being photographer. Alana had hinted at wanting interviewer, so the role was quickly hers, and Jared was elected editor, a role he was more than happy to have as it was a position he already had in Broadcasting.

 

With the free time they have, Alana works on her speech for the first round of public appearances for the election while Connor points out when things sound too clinical, too bluntly stated. Jared says something about going to the bathroom but leaves slightly hurriedly, taking his bag with him.

 

At first, Evan doesn’t do much, just idly plays with this kinetic sand website Jared showed him a couple of months ago before pausing. After a couple of minutes, Evan gathers his things, shrugging when Alana and Connor ask where he’s going and just excuses himself to the bathroom too. It’s clearly nowhere near convincing, but they don’t push as Evan quietly steps out to try to follow Jared.

 

Honestly, he’s not too sure why he is, following Jared that is, but he’s been acting weird lately, and Evan’s worried for him. So, he tries to think of where Jared would go, idly turning corners.

 

It’s after going downstairs to the bottom floor near the drama room that he realises he’s walked across the entire campus. He’s about to turn and walk out when he can hear someone talking near the props closet.

 

He’s suddenly very aware how this would look if he gets caught and hides under a table, a box of curtains sitting on top as one of them, a blue one, how fitting, covering him from view. He curls into a ball and does his best to stay quiet, hoping for the best.

 

He listens carefully, realising it’s… Katie?

 

Evan covers his mouth, trying to keep his breathing quiet as he can feel how sweaty his palms are getting.

 

“I know I’m losing the minority vote, you think I’m stupid?”

 

Evan doesn’t know what tempts him to grab his phone out, but he has it in his hand in a second before opening the voice recorder app and clicking start.

 

“I know they’re not replacing Markel - Ms. Bell wants to turn his office into a private handicap bathroom. But I already promised it as a practice room to the band geeks for their vote!”

 

There’s a distinct pause, but the room is completely silent. When Evan peers over from behind the curtain, she doesn’t even have a phone in her hand. She’s just pacing back and forth; Evan ducks back under the curtain when she takes a sharp turn in his direction. He’s terrified he’s caught for a few moments but she talks again.

 

“Yes, I know Nick has all the nerd blocs, Cool Asians, the Queers, and alcoholics anonymous! But the band bloc is the biggest bloc of the school, so if I give them this room, I’ll _still_ get the majority!”

 

Evan flinches at her word choice, the disdain in her tone revolting. He still doesn’t know who she’s talking to, but they must say something to her because she’s quick to snort.

 

Her voice is indifferent and rude, a tone Evan’s never heard her use before. It makes him shrink.

 

“Why would I care about getting the retard and wheelie vote? Only two of them are actually like… mentally there, and even not that much.” There’s not even a beat of silence before she quietly sighs. “I don’t get it. What do you get from a handicapped bathroom?”

 

She’s silent for longer now, and Evan checks the time. There’s only a couple of minutes left of the class period.

 

“Look, I already offered the room to the band. So whatever decision you want me to make, I’m making my own. I can care about ‘philanthropy’ _after_ I win -- there are twenty seniors in the brass section alone.”

 

There are footsteps coming, and Evan panics, nearly kicking the table in his shock. Katie must be panicked too because she hurriedly inhales, fake cheer seeping back into her voice. Regaining her facade.

 

“We gotta go, that weird girl from drama is gonna be here any minute. Ugh, anyways, she’s not a senior so whatever. There’s nothing left to discuss anyways.”

 

Katie sneaks off, and Evan waits until he hears the back door slam close before he’s sneaking out to the exit he came from. He stops recording, saving the audio file before he steps out into the hallway. The bell rings just as he does, so he tightens his backpack strap and starts walking.

 

“Hey Evan,” he hears as he turns to see Zoe, walking side by side with him.

 

“Hi Zoe,” he greets kindly as she smiles, nudging him.

 

“So why’d you come out of the drama department?” Zoe doesn’t waste any time jumping straight into it, raising an intrigued eyebrow.

 

“Oh -” Evan rubs the back of his neck awkwardly - “We didn’t have a lot to do in Yearbook, so I walked around…”

 

Zoe still looks curious, but Evan gestures to the door they’re stopped in front of, “this is your stop, right?”

 

Zoe opens her mouth in protest before she’s nodding. “This discussion isn’t done though,” she teases before she’s walking inside the door.

 

Evan laughs quietly as he walks to the other wing of the school to get to his science class.

 

Mrs. Flores is standing outside the door, greeting students walking into her class as she grins enthusiastically when she sees him. Evan, originally, hadn’t planned on taking AP Environmental Science but last year, Mrs. Flores has done a mini presentation in their class, and Evan had been interested enough to sign up for the class that day.

 

He greets her as he walks inside, seeing Alana and Connor already there at a table. Both of them look up to see him, Alana waving him over.

 

Evan sits down in the chair on the right of Connor as Alana sits to Connor’s left.

 

“Where’d you go?” Alana asks, confused, as Connor raises an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, that was one long bathroom break,” Connor quips as Evan ducks his head, trying to think of what to say.

 

He doesn’t really get the chance to formulate anything though because he spots Katie walk into the room in the corner of his eye and winces. Evan looks up to see both Alana and Connor looking at each other in worry before back at him. Oh.

 

Oh no.

 

“Evan, are you okay?” Genuine concern in Alana’s voice makes him curl inward a bit. He hates worrying them but that’s all he ever seems to do. "All day you've been on edge..."

 

Connor looks calculatedly at Katie before back to Evan. Voice tense, he asks, “Did Katie say something to you?”

 

Evan’s eyes widen a fraction, and he quickly says, “N-no, nothing, I’m fine. It’s just, uh…” he hugs himself closer a bit, “... cold?”

 

Alana seems to relax a tad, seemingly dropping the subject, but Evan can still feel Connor’s eyes on him.

 

“Anyways, I was bouncing ideas off Connor earlier, but I was thinking of holding a candlelight vigil tonight for Mr. Markel. It was a tragedy what happened to him, so I think it’d be good to honor him.” Alana explains, hands clasped as she leans forward, voice softer than usual. “What do you think?”

 

Evan means it completely when he nods, “th-that’s a good idea. I’m, um, sure it’ll mean a lot to his family…”

 

Alana seems to brighten at his answer right as Mrs. Flores closes the door and walks to the front of the class.

 

Connor is still silent as Evan looks over at him. They hold eye contact for a second before Connor looks over at Katie and then back at him. Evan tries not to calm his worry down, knowing without a doubt that Connor isn’t going to let it go.

 

So while Mrs. Flores goes over her grading scale, Evan sneaks his phone and clicks on his message app, hastily texting to a group chat between him, Connor and Jared. He knows Jared will feel left out if he just shares it with Connor, and besides, when Evan chances a glance at Katie who is sitting there as if she didn’t just talk badly about other students minutes ago, it makes his skin crawl.

 

**_Bee Movie Script_ **

**evan**

_i have news._

 

**jared**

_ooo, a scandal already?_

_zoe says hi by the way_

 

**evan**

_you have english with zoe?_

 

**jared**

_yep ap lit_

_stop changing the subject_

 

**evan**

_hi zoe_

 

**connor**

_hey_

_so does this scandal have anything to do with katie?_

 

**jared**

_katie?? zoe told me evan came from the drama department_

 

**evan**

_i heard something katie said last period_

 

**jared**

_??? what'd she say?_

 

**connor**

_did she say anything bad to you?_

 

Before Evan can reply, he hears Mrs. Flores talk about the lab rules as he hides his phone. Only after she’s done talking about the importance of goggles and how to use the eye faucet in the back of the room does Evan grab his phone again.

 

**_Bee Movie Script_ **

**jared**

_c’mon evan don’t leave us hanging, we want in on the gossip_

 

**evan**

_i’ll tell you after school_

 

**connor**

_is this a treehouse thing?_

 

**jared**

_ooo that's serious_

 

**evan**

_yeah_

_i’ll grab gummy bears on the way there_

 

**jared**

_!!!!_

_oh shit_

 

Evan puts his phone away, looking up to catch Connor’s eye. Connor just nods, pocketing his phone as both of them turn to Mrs. Flores as she goes over what their first homework assignment is. In Evan’s peripheral, he can see Katie give a classmate a shiny button.

 

A treehouse thing, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly don't know if i'll be continuing this, so if you guys like it, then i'll keep writing it, but !! yeah, not too sure what else to say, but my tumblr is @existsigns?? see y'all on the flip side, i guess


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